Wall Street Rant

I've been meaning to rant about how I've been taken advantage of by Wall Street for some time, now.
First I want to acknowledge that I am speaking from self-pity and blaming others for my problems. That's human.
Shortly before I would lose money on Wall Street I always read a book about investing. Generally they would say that the ruling class was about to pull away from the masses. Now was always the time to invest because the train was pulling out and if you didn't jump on board right away you would always be poor and not in control of your destiny.
Usually I would win for about 1 month. When I figured out how much I would make by the end of a year it was in increments of hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions.
After the first month I started losing. I would not only lose what I had gained but whatever I had saved or borrowed to start investing in the first place.
It's too depressing to add up what I've lost but it included my inheritance, back-pay from Social Security Disability and several thousand dollars that I borrowed.
I think my schizophrenia is a big part of the problem. One of my delusions is that I made billions during the 1987 stock market crash. I had delusions that I invested millions from a credit card (betting against the market) and turned it into billions. A few months later the federal government took it away. These things always turn into thin air and nothing comes of it. That is the nature of schizophrenia. It turns out that my most hopeful thoughts are delusions of grandeur. I also have delusions involving Sports Illustrated models. Oh well.
Part of the problem is that I'm drawn to leverage. That means (in the financial world) using small amounts of money to control larger amounts. I started as a commodities trader. With commodities ( at that time) $2,000 would control a commodity worth $40,000. This is wonderful when you are winning but it sucks when the underlying commodity goes in the wrong direction. I would also use options which is similar. Even when I bought stocks I was generally on margin. That means for every $1 I put up the brokerage would put up $2 more.
It was always just a matter of time before I would lose my shirt; and I always did.
Now I'm down to betting on precious metals and Bitcoins. I'm not using leverage and things are going fairly well.
I still want to get out to California before the financial collapse. I feel that I only have a few months. Maybe I'm repeating my old (fear basesd) thinking.
I feel that I'll be able to live practically for free and if I find some gold that is just icing ont the cake.
Today I'm putting batteries into the motor home. I've got the wrong battery in the engine compartment. The posts are too close to the hood. I have to put mounting brackets into the battery compartment for the other two batteries. Once I get that done I'll take it to Wal-Mart and install a couple of marine batteries, there. I think that will happen yet today maybe Saturday. We'll see.
That's all I've got today.
Later